Somehow, those times when something can actually be done, are only being pushed further and further away by 'mindful' consumption - avoidance of silence.

I honestly wish I had taken a picture of it so I could show people this beautiful deep red apple that I had the opportunity to enjoy.

It doesn't seem like it could be that easy but, I guess that's where the problem lies. We assume difficulty onto tasks, creating complications that only prolong the experience of actually doing the thing.

Perhaps you interact with a person whose journey does not mirror your own and, for the first time, you take into consideration perspectives you would have never know had it not been for you simply sharing a moment with this person.

When we asked ‘why’ as children, we were trying to learn, trying to gain deeper understanding of a world that was filled with newness and wonder. Overtime, we learnt that there were things that were not to be questioned, but, why not?

Do whatever you can to take you mind out of that place of dread, because once you are in it, the rhythm of those rhymes will be much harder to find. 

If only growth were linear. Then, I could hold on to the lessons from yesterday and know that I will not have another day like this.

Milestone TWO

I do not imagine this is some kind of terminal diagnosis to which there is no treatment. It is something that I am aware of. Something that can be beneficial in some situations but, when it comes to the little everyday moments, it is something that needs to be overcome.

So far, what I have learnt is that not every tool in your toolbox get as much use as the other. Some come out every day and others, are yet to have their moment in the spotlight.

If I could step into the shoes of someone else, then it would be them that is poor received. It would be them that would fail. If I cannot meet whatever fantasy of what it is be a creative, then it would not be me who is at a loss.

I thought I had overcome such habits but, as I find myself falling victim to them yet again, I am reminded that 'you do not rise to the level of your goals but…

What I am learning now is that creativity is a flower that needs light, connection and a little bit of bravery to grow.

What the exercise showed me was that, sometimes we claim failure when it is not necessary. Choices I once blamed myself for, became the reasons for my successes at later points.

Something I find both beautiful and unfortunate about art is that once it has been created, it has a way of taking on its own life. Like a living being, your art could either bring joy, anger, disinterest or peace to those that perceive it. Once it's done, it's done. It is what it is, and now comes the part that leaves most artworks unfinished.

Maybe that's why I found myself making a choice that would be considered silly on a regular Monday night. However, in the feeling of all that was happening, it wasn't a Monday. It was a day I was just doing something that I wanted to do. No sense of a calendar dictating how a day is to be lived.

On day 10 I was entertained by the obsessive cycles of thought that come before I ever sit down to write any of these articles. The passive background thoughts sifting through ideas trying to find appropriate phrasing or value in ordinary moments.

All of this is an experiment. There is nothing set in stone.

It's crazy how social influence can make you think you want things that you hated.