024. Why Not.

I recently heard that 'no, is a full sentence'. 

For most of my life, and I imagine for many of you as well, no, is a statement that has always required a follow up justification as to why.

Today I asked my uncle, 'why is your beard braided?', and the answer I received was, 'why not.'

As I tried to find a response to that question, I found myself scrambling for reasons to justify my asking why, in the end, I agreed, 'I guess, why not'. 

Growing up, I imagine most of us were raised under the strict guidance of, 'because I told you so'. Perhaps for some of you, there was reasonable justification as to why but, for the most part, most of us were being raised to follow instruction without question. The older you get, some of these whys fade away and what is left is complacency without question.

I fear the more I write, the more this line of thought will potentially get offensively opinionated. To that I guess I say, why not.

Some time ago, I grew hesitant to be vocal online or in public settings due to the rising cases of cancellations. I think in today's climate, these instances are carrying lesser and lesser weight as people dare to question some of the whys, and their personal alignment on certain subject matters.

I never truly understood the point and purpose of cancellations. Not because of the basic fact that many of the public figures who were cancelled in the past have since made several comebacks, but, because cancellations carried a similar energy to the 'because I told you so' from childhood. A one-sided shutdown with little room for reflection or growth offered.  

What 'because I told you so' taught was that if someone of authority gives instruction, then, like holy scripture, it must be followed accordingly. No room for questioning why.  

But, why not? 

At some point on this journey through life, you reach an age or a point where you begin to notice that it's everyone's first round at this life thing. You then start noticing that everyone has been making it up as they go and hoping something works. Eventually, when that something works, it is then deemed as 'the method' then, everyone else is then required to follow suit if they wish to accomplish the same results. Along the way, we learn to copy the method and stop questioning if there is any other way to be, because 'if it ain't broke…'

Over 6 years ago, I found myself wanting to switch up my look. At the time, I lived in a 'blue haired city' so, I figured, why not. I went ahead, and I bleached my eyebrows. For maybe a year in between, I went back to black. I cannot remember why but, in early 2023, I found myself feeling a little jaded of the look - I missed the blonde brow. Since then, that's just been me. 

As it is how I have looked for years now, it is not something I notice or am even aware of. It is only when people make a comment about it, that I am reminded that perhaps, it is a peculiar look. However, for the first time ever, I was recently asked if I was 'making a statement'. To that, awkwardly and confused, I answered, 'ummmm, no'.

I have never thought of the way I choose to present myself as being some sort of statement. Of course, at first, my family were not shy to make their comments about the look. Several 'why nots' later, the whys and the judgy comments stopped. 

When we asked ‘why’ as children, we were trying to learn, trying to gain deeper understanding of a world that was filled with newness and wonder. Overtime, we learnt that there were things that were not to be questioned, but, why not? 

Why not question? 

Why not venture to understand?

Why not challenge the status quo?

Much of our lives are made up of ideas that we may not feel align with who we are or, who we are trying to become but, we get so caught up questioning the aesthetics and the superficial, that we do not dare to say ‘why not’. We stop at 'because I told you so' and allow the newness and wonder of life to fade away into the abyss of things that are not to be questioned.

People bleach and colour their hair. Why not bleach and colour your eyebrows, it's just hair. People braid and perm their hair. Why not braid and perm your beard, it's just hair.

Perhaps to some it will seem like a statement and, maybe it is. Perhaps it means that where they stopped at 'I told you so', and you chose to believe that 'why not' was a full sentence. Perhaps it is a statement, one that says you dared to discover what felt right for you. 

The human species is not a monolith, so why are we so obsessed with trying to force everyone to fit into the same mould?

There are people whose answer to that question will be 'why not', so let that be your why.

If you long for sameness, why not. Let that be your journey. If you long to discover and define a definition of self that feels true and right to you then, why not. Choose the path you will walk.

Why not start finding questions to answers that have remained unanswered for so long. Why not venture onto a journey of self-discovery. Why not. 

Dear reader, it has been fun sharing with line of thought with you. I hope can allow yourself to let 'why not' be a full enough sentence on its own. I hope you come back tomorrow to share another moment with me.

With that said, it is time for me to end my day knowing I have done all that could to make sure I end my day having done my best. :)