069. What’s Next

Have you ever finally done the thing?

Today was absolutely insane! Honestly, I don’t know how to explain it. All day, there was that feeling of leading up. Going somewhere, having something to do. Doing it.

I feel like it was kind of scary, but in truth, I think all of that might have been in my head. I was running around all morning, trying to find people, find this, find that, read this, something constantly having to happen. The day just felt like okay, ‘what’s next’, ‘is this where it should be’, ‘is that enough’, it was quite the day. I am glad to have lived it.

I don’t know what I imagined, but this was better than I imagined. People showed up, people spoke. People I didn’t call heard the call, people cared, they wanted to be there. Honestly, I am so grateful. I didn’t know how many people to expect when I asked people to be there and to tell a friend. I just hoped the people I had spoken to would be there, but the 31 people that came together, wow! More than I expected.

You know, if only life were that simple. If only that were it. We gathered, words were shared and through speech alone, resolutions for all grievances were found. Alas, that is why I had summoned all those people, because words were spoken, but nothing was happening.

Agency - the capacity of a person to act, make decisions, and cause changes in their own life.

I honestly didn’t realise this is where this journey would lead. I do not think it would have been possible to imagine that is the kind of person I would become. Today words were spoken to me that I could not believe were true but somehow, were.

All day today I have been asking the people around me if they think I have work-life balance. At first I thought it was a joke, perhaps a misunderstanding of my life, but the more no’s I got, the more I realised, there isn’t much else I would rather be doing.

I am convinced I have work-life balance. There was a time I would be nonstop losing sleep over whatever television show I was obsessed with at the time. I gave it all my time, attention and mental capacity. Then eventually, I grew tired. What once provided me entertainment, and sparked life, does not cross my mind when I seek entertainment. Often, I do not seek entertainment, there is always something that can be done.

One of these days, I will share with you the story of what happened today, beyond the experience of having had lived a day I could not have ever imagined when I envisioned this year. I will tell you the story. However, today, I will tell you, if you want something to do, there is always something to do.

A part of me feels a little tired thinking that today was only the start. Now, the campaign begins. New a challenge. A new opportunity to aim high and try again, and that, it fills me with joy and excitement. So, perhaps I should also put a target for the next 90 days so that there’s something to be in awe of.

Dear readers, please, if there is one thing that I will ask of you today is this, try. That and only that, please, just try. If you allow yourself to just be, you might surprise yourself with what you are capable of.

The work has only begun. Tomorrow, we go again.