036. Four Books
Apparently, the only way to know what you like, or who you want to be, is through trying.
This year, I decided I would make it goal to read 12 books - one a month. So, far, that has not gone as planned. I was off to a great start in January when I had finished 2 books. I thought that goal was going to be a piece of cake.
For those of you that read, and think that 12 books a year is nothing, I would like you to consider that perhaps, not everyone reads.
Last year, 2025, I finished a book that I had been reading for over 4 years. Anytime I would think to read, it was the book I would pick up. However, I couldn’t hold a steady enough rhythm to read it to completion in the course of a week, month, or even a year. Though I found the book very interesting and quite enjoyable, I just…wasn't a reader. Then, in July of 2025, for the first time since GCSE's - 10 years later, I finished a book.
With that information, you can imagine, for me, 12 books, was quite the ambitious goal. However, after that first book, I was able to finish reading another book over the course of a month or two. So, I figured, with the way I had now set up my life - no social media, lack of interest in television and music - it would surely be easy for me to make the time to read a few pages. And, I was right.
Today, I finished another book. I believe, I could have finished this book in a week had it been my sole focus. Though, my time and my use of my time, has not created an environment where that belief could have been easily realised. So, it took longer.
A lot of the things that I am currently learning and beginning to understand about life centre this simple idea - life is what you make it. When I used to sing along to Hannah Montana as she sang, 'life's what you make it so, let's make it rock', the profundity of those words might have been lost on a younger me but, lately, that lyric echoes often in my mind.
When you don't set out your goals, or know what you want. Life will throw a million things at you. Even when you know the path you want to take, life has a way of happening - throwing in unpredictable challenges that are often unavoidable. However, that does not change the simple fact that life, simply is what you make it.
I wanted to be a person who reads this year. I have now had more than one interaction where I have referenced or spoken about the material from a book. Every time this happens, I feel the need to say that I do no read much because I fear the conversation might stray from the few books I have read thus far. Though, it is not something to be ashamed of.
Though I no longer have much interest in new media, I am a lover of film and cinema. Though I no longer long for music in the ways I once did, on the rare occasion I put on a song, I truly and deeply enjoy it. What entertained me once, simply does not entice me today as it did once. For that reason, there is now more space in my life to try something new. To delve into the experience that is reading.
There are only 24 hours in a day. If you want to try something new, chances are, the new thing is going to have to replace something that you are already doing. It's nice to think that you can just add another activity onto your already busy schedule but, as you know all too well, every 'continue watching' is another 'snooze' added to your morning, and time taken out of your day.
I never could read simply because there wasn't enough time in a day. I was unable to take away the time I needed from one activity to redirect it to the reading I wanted to do. With an infinite scroll keeping me infinitely passive, no time could ever be made. Today, there is no infinite scroll. However, life continues to throw random activities that aim to draw my attention. However, life is what you make it. So, if you want something, want it fully.
Today, I completed my 4th book of the year. I can't believe I have read FOUR books!!! That is genuinely mind blowing to me. I will not underestimate what can be accomplished in a year. I will not underestimate the power of wanting, trying, and most importantly, believing.
Life is long. The only way to know what you like and who you want to be is through trying, because we are ever evolving beings, your 'I am ____' of today, will not be your 'I am ___' of tomorrow. Allow yourself to grow. Do not limit yourself with who you are today, but instead, inspire yourself with who you can be tomorrow.
Dear reader, week 8 is upon us. Thank you for coming back. I hope you were able to find rest this weekend. I am looking forward to the discoveries of the week ahead, I hope you are too.
I definitely have done my best today and, I look forward to ending my day having had done all I could.
