001. Introduction
Some time ago, I decided I did not want to regret anything.
If ever the question is asked, my answer is ‘no, I have no regrets’. Not because I have not made my fair share of poor decisions but, because I decided I did not want to paint myself as the villain in my own story.
Much of my life now and how I express myself is a cumulative result of the many lessons of life. I am one of those people who will hear something once and cling on to it. I only noticed this recently when I would draw upon the most random and obscure references from conversations with friends, family or strangers. I say this to say, if you pay attention, there is much that can be learnt from any interaction and if you are patient, a time will come when those lessons will take you to the next point.
During one of my 'in-between phases' I had the honour of being housemates with a beautiful soul. I was a new graduate and he was at the start of his second year of uni but, he had this sense of clarity about life that was simple and aspirational. From our few long talks, the idea that really stuck out to me and echoed the years after was the simple statement, 'I end my day knowing that I have done all that I can'.
At the time, I think I pictured him having a long list of activities checked off and at the end of the day he would sit on his throne like a champion knowing he had conquered all. This awe-inspiring notion of doing it all. I suppose I was doubtful or rather curious as to how one could possibly end every day in such a way. So, I obsessed over this idea and, over time it became a running background thought - one I could almost forget.
Then later, I heard the statement,'we often overestimate what we can achieve in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a year'. I then made the conscious choice to challenge this notion. To do so, I had to honestly ask myself, what can be achieved in a day, then, wait and find out. You likely wouldn't be surprised but the answer was…not much. On average, I would say a day is about 3 hours long, 5 if I am being generous. Between commuting, eating, sleeping, bathroom breaks, cooking, waking, the list of non-activity activities is long. However, when I look back at a week, or better yet a month, the story changes. The narrative takes form.
Last year, I had one goal – to make a vision board. I believe those were the early seasons of visual manifesting and I was tired of not having a board to reflect to, so I wanted one. However, 2025 did not start at a point when I had 'vision'. The only thing I knew about what I wanted for my life back then was that I wanted for one. I wanted to do something and be someone who does something. However, my mental state lacked the capacity to see beyond the want.
It took time but along the way, something started to happen. January, February, March were all spent staring up at the ceiling wondering what I could possibly put on the vision board – trying figure out what was the right thing for me to want. April came round and I played on my laptop hoping something would happen. Then May rolled round and lessons on strategic thinking started to shape small daily habits. By June, experimentation was the game because, 'might as well see what happens'.
After August, I was slowly becoming this person, this version of myself. The one who was doing, seeing results. Somewhere along the way, I had found things to do, things to want. When December came, I had plans in motion waiting for the new year to start. I wrote down the things I wanted to see actualised and the board was the natural result. Before midnight of 2025, I made my first vision board. That board currently informs the visions and aspirations of this year.
If measured against the first, second or third quarters of 2025, my singular goal was failed. However, if I look back at the work carried out in those 3 quarters – the mental rest in the first, the waking in the second and the starting in the third – it would not have been possible to have the well informed board I have today. So, 2025 urged me to challenge the timeframes through which success is measured, and I learnt to be more forgiving of the day.
Now, in April of 2026, sleep evades me yet again. I lie awake, more accomplished than I was a year ago yet, the feeling - the want of 'could be' or 'should be' - echoes. I find myself in an all too familiar space wondering if at the end of the day, I have done all that I could have. So, I guess it's time for a new approach, to go all in - full send.
In the spirit of experimentation, I have decided that today will be the first of 90 days where I will be challenging myself to produce a piece of written work. This will be The Full Send.
Predating the launch of this platform, my mind has become obsessed with organising thoughts and ideas into ways I could later communicate to the audience of this platform, yet the number of written works does not compare to the level of obsession I have developed. The truth is, I do not wish to just pump out work for the mere sake of it. As a result, that has created an obsession with finding the 'right' ideas. Along with that, it hinders my ability to 'find' or 'shape' my voice as a first-time writer.
I am yet to discover the shape this short series will take but, I have to start to find out. I have completed more than five 30-day challenges to date so, I am using that as the backbone of my ability to follow through. I also believe in rest so, I aim to publish a written piece every Monday to Friday, with milestones measured at days 10, 20, 30, 60, 75 and of course 90.
My life over the next couple of months is not guaranteed stability but, if I wait for stability, I might never discover the possibilities that come as a result of doing. I might find myself lying awake at night wondering what would have happened if I just started. I value my sleep greatly so, I will inconvenience myself now, and deal with the anxiety of being perceived. In time, I know I will rest a little easier knowing I did my part in pushing the needle a little further. With that said, all that's left now is to fully send it.
I look forward to discovering what this journey will bring. If you’ve got something you have been thinking about starting, why not start today and let’s see what becomes of these first 30 days.
